The teacher begins by telling the story of Jonah.   Just as she is starting to tell the story, Edword comes up.  Edword asks the teacher what she is doing, and she tells him that she is telling the kids the Bible story.  Edword tells her that Bible stories are his favorite stories in the world, and then asks if he can help.  The teacher says yes, so Edword begins to try and help with the story.
Edword:  "Once upon a time, there was a guy named Jonah.  And God told him, 'Jonah, build an ark because I am going to destroy the world with a flood.'"
The teacher interupts Edword, and tells him that he is getting the Bible stories mixed up. 
Teacher:  "Edword, that it wasn't Jonah, it was Noah who God told to build an ark.
Eword acts embarrased, and then begins again to tell the story.
Edword:  "OK, lets try this again.  Once upon a time, there was a guy named Jonah.  And God told him, 'Jonah, go to Egypt and lead my people out.'"
Again, the teacher interupts Edword and tells him that he is still getting the Bible stories mixed up.
Teacher:  "Edword, that was Moses who God told to lead his people out of Egypt. 
Embarrased, Edword leans toward the teacher and asks her to give him a hint about the story of Jonah.  The teacher whispers in Edwords ear.
Edword:  "Oh, that Jonah.  OK, well I know that story like the back of my hand.  Once upon a time, there was a man named Jonah, and God told him to go to New York City and preach to the people there." 
Teacher:  "The name of the city is Ninevah."
Edword:  "What awa?"
Teacher:  "Ninevah.  The name of the city that God told Jonah to go to was Ninevah, it was a very sinful city." 
Edword:  "So is New York City."
Teacher: "Would you like me to tell the story?"
Edword: Oh, Ninevah, now I remember.  Well, anyway, God told Jonah to go to Ninevah, and being the obedient prophet of God that Jonah was, he said, 'Yes God, I will go imediately.'  So Jonah went to go pack his bags ..." 
Teacher:  "Edword, that is not exactly how it went.  Jonah was not obedient, and did not go to Ninevah right away."
Edword:  "You mean he disobeyed the Lord?  Was Jonah crazy?  You don't disobey the Lord."
Teacher:  "That is exactly what he did.  Instead of going to Ninevah, he went the other direction." 
Edword:  "So Jonah got on an airplane and flew to New York City."
Teacher: "Edword!  What is it with you and New York City?  First of all, there were no such thing as planes back in those days.  Secondly, he did not go to New York City."
Edword:  "No airplanes?  He must have been born even before you then."
Teacher: "Just a few years."
Edword:  "OK, so Jonah got onto a chew chew train and went to Pheonix Arizona."
Teacher: "Edword."
Edword:  "He got into a car and drove to Miami Florida?"
The teacher just crosses her arms and looks at him.
Edword:  "Rode his skate board to Desmoise Iowa?"
Teacher: "No. No. No, and no.  He got on a boat, and headed to a city called Tarshish."
Edword:  "Thank you, now I remember.  OK, so while Jonah was in the boat, he was having a blast, swimming and playing shuffle board."
Teacher: "Edword!"
Edword:  "Sorry.  Anyway, while Jonah was on the boat, God sent a big storm.  And while the storm was tossing the boat back and forth, back and forth, back and forth..."
Edword moves back and forth as he is telling the story and begins to act sea sick.  The teacher grabs him and tells him to continue with the story.
Edword:  "The storm was really bad, but Jonah went to go sleep down in the bottom of the boat."
Edword lays his head on the stage and starts snoring.  The teacher laughs at first, but then realizes that Edword has actually gone to sleep.  The teacher tries to wake Edword up, but he says, "Can I sleep in just a little longer mommy?"  The teacher looks at the kids and then wakes Edword up.  Edword then continues with his story.
Edword:  "And the storm was so big that it began to sink the boat and then they ran into an ice berg and the ship sank and..."
Teacher: "Edword, that was the Titanic."
Edword:  "Sorry.  Anyway, the storm was really bad, but Jonah was sleeping in the bottom of the boat." 
Edword lays his head on the stage and starts to snore.  The teacher again tries to wake him up gently, and Edword says, "Just one more minute mommy."  The teacher then wakes him up and Edword continues with the story.
Edword:  "The men on the boat finally go and wake up Jonah and say, 'Wake up sleepy head.  We are going to drown.'  Jonah then tells them that God sent the storm because of him, because he is a bad bad boy, and is running away from God.  Then the men on the boat get mad and decide to tickle Jonah until he..."
Teacher: "Edword!"
Edword:  "Sorry.  Anyway, the men on the boat tell Jonah, he is a bad bad boy and they must punish him.
Teacher: "Actually, just the opposite."
Edword:  "Just the opposite?"
Teacher: "Yes, Jonah tells them to throw him over, but the sailors don't want to at first." 
Edword:  "OK, now I remember.  So they try harder, but still nothing helps and the ship is almost ready to sink.  (Edword looks at the teacher, who shakes her head yes.)  Then Jonah finally convinces them to throw him over, and when he does, boy does God get mad at them.  He starts making even bigger waves and drowns everyone on the boat."
Teacher: "Not exactly.  Actually when they throw Jonah over, the storm calmed."
Edword:  "It did?  I mean, it did.  They threw Jonah overboard and the seas were calm and all the men on the boat were saved, but poor Jonah drowned and died."
Teacher: "Nope."
Edword:  "He was eaten by a shark."
Teacher: "Nope."
Edword:  "He found Nemo?"
Teacher: "If you are ...
Edword:  "OK, OK,  ahhh, ummm, a giant whale swallowed him."  Edword laughs thinking he is being silly.
Teacher: "Exactly right."
Edword:  "It was?  I mean, of course it was, and he stays in the fishy's tummy for three days, when the fishy gets a tummy ache and throws him up."
Teacher: "Well, kind of."
Edword:  "But Jonah still does not want to obey God, so he gets on an airplane to New York."
Teacher: "Edword, stop already with airplanes and New York."
Edword:  "Jonah finally decides to obey God and goes to Ninevah and preaches to them, and the entire town repents and believes on the Lord God."
Teacher: "Very good Edword."
Edword: "No problem.  Anytime you need help with the Bible story, just give me a call."
Teacher: "Ahh, umm, well, we will see."