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To save: Click here if you would like to download Skits. Click here if you would like to download the Entire Set. Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you are like me, you are probably tired of forking out a lot of money for curriculum that is just not worth it !!! I know that many of you have good ideas and quality programs, but you need some new and fresh ideas to use every once in a while. God has put on my heart to write down some of the best ideas we have had in the past 15 years, to pass them on to others. Jesus said, "Freely ye have received, freely give", and being the God didn't charge us for the ideas He gave, we aren't going to charge, but give to others what He has given to us. We also suggest, and ask that you come up with your own names in the place of the names you will find on the following pages. This will allow for your Children's Church to be unique, and fitted to your own personalities and characters. If every church had a puppet with the same name, yet they all looked and sounded different, this would seem strange to a child who might visit your church on one particular Sunday. If you have enjoyed this curriculum, please feel free to duplicate it and give it to others. This ministry's purpose is to get kids to Jesus, and to get the words of Jesus to the kids. Also, if you have any ideas you would like to share, please send them in, and we gladly will pass them on. Peter says in II Peter 1:12-15 that he continually put the people in remembrance of God's truths even though they already knew them and were established in those truths, so that when he would go on to be with the Lord, the people would have those truths firmly and deeply rooted in their minds. In the same way, we in the Children's Ministry need to continually put our kids in remembrance of Jesus and His truths, even though they think they know it all and are established in those truths, so that when they leave our Sunday School, they will always have these truths firmly and deeply rooted in them, and be able to stand strong in the faith of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you have found this curriculum helpful, or if you haven't, please email us and let us know what you think. Your opinion is not only desired, but needed. clunky@fishersofkids.com Now, God bless you as you minister unto God's children.
Dan Harris
21. THOU SHALT NOT COVET (2:7) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, a beeper and two calculators.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch three skits on thou shalt not covet. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out and begins telling the kids about this new calculator he saw at the store. He tells them, "It is the new ‘Albert Einstein delta magna 3.14 special’ with a 100 megahertz capacity, able to calculate five million calculations per second. I drool every time I look at it, and just to be able to touch it is a dream come true." While he is talking about this calculator, Nerd B comes out with the calculator in hand. Nerd B decides to calculate the rotational speed of the sun, when Nerd A asks Nerd B what kind of calculator he has. Nerd B tells him, "It is the ‘Albert Einstein delta magna 3.14 special’ with a 100 megahertz capacity, able to calculate five million calculations per second." Nerd A asks if he can see it, but Nerd B tells him he can’t because he hasn’t finished his science project for school, and he would mess it up. Nerd B leaves. Nerd A leaves now mad that Nerd B has a cool calculator and he doesn’t. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on thou shalt not covet, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he is mad that someone else has the calculator he wants.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd A comes and is telling the kids, "Do you remember the new calculator I told you I saw at the store? The new ‘Albert Einstein delta magna 3.14 special’ with a 100 megahertz capacity, able to calculate five million calculations per second? Well I went home, found all of my pennies, nickels and dimes, and I sold all of my pocket protectors, plus my John Travolta Saturday Night Special bowling bowl, and I bought it." He then pulls out his calculator and begins to do his own calculations of the rotational speed of the sun. "Now I won’t have to be jealous of that silly guy who has one cause I have one too, and mine is newer." While he is calculating on his calculator, Nerd B comes out with a bigger calculator in hand (you can use the keyboard of a computer). Nerd B then decides to calculate the rotational speed of the galaxy, when Nerd A sees him and asks him what kind of calculator he has. Nerd B tells him, "It is the ‘New and improved Albert Einstein premo delta magna 3.14 special’ with a one million megahertz capacity, able to calculate six billion calculations per second." Nerd A asks if he can see it, but Nerd B tells him he can’t because he hasn’t finished his science project for school, and he would mess it up. Nerd A leaves now mad that Nerd B has a cooler calculator than he does. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on thou shalt not covet, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he is mad that someone else has a cooler calculator than he has.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerd A comes out and tells the kids, "Do you remember the new calculator I that one guy had, the ‘New and improved Albert Einstein premo delta magna 3.14 special’ with a one million megahertz capacity, able to calculate six billion calculations per second? Well I sold my old wimpy calculator, plus I sold all of my old pair of socks and underwear, and I was able to buy this…" He then pulls out his calculator and begins to do his own calculations of the rotational speed of the galaxy. "Now I won’t have to be jealous of that silly guy who has one, cause I have one too, and mine is newer." While he is calculating on his calculator, Nerd B comes with no calculator. Nerd A walks over and shows him his new calculator. Nerd B then shows him his beeper, and says, "Where have you been? They just came out the ‘New and improved Albert Einstein premo delta magna 3.14 special’ with a one million megahertz capacity, able to calculate six billion calculations per second, only in beeper size. Now I no longer have to carry around that big UGLY looking calculator. It was so heavy and it was cramping my style with all the chicks. And besides being a calculator, it also works as a beeper. When it goes off I tell the girls, ‘Excuse me, but it must be the President calling.’" Nerd A looks at Nerd B, starts to get mad, but then pats him on the back and says, "Wow, beeper size. You are a very blessed man." Nerd B says, "The only problem is that it costs so much I don’t even have enough money for lunch." Nerd A then tells him not to worry, he has a little extra money from selling his underwear, "Some dorky guy named Pastor Dan (use your children’s pastors name here) actually bought them from me." The two nerds leave for lunch. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on thou shalt not covet, and why it was. (It was because he wasn’t mad that someone else has a cooler calculator than he has.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, and some toys.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch three skits on thou shalt not steal. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out playing with his toys. Nerd B comes out and asks if he can play too. Nerd A says he would love to play with him, but that it is getting late, and he needs to go home. Nerd B gets mad and tells Nerd A, "Look over there, a giant purple elephant." Nerd A looks and Nerd B grabs one of his toys and hides it. Nerd A turns back around and says he doesn’t see anything. Nerd B says he must have been mistaken and quickly leaves with the toy. Nerd A grabs the rest of his toys and leaves. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on thou shalt not steal, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he stole some of his toys.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd A comes out playing with his toys. Nerd B comes out and asks if he can play too. Nerd A says he would love to play with him, but that it is getting late, and he needs to go home. Nerd A quickly picks up his toys and puts them away, but unknowingly drops a couple of them. He then leaves. Nerd B notices that Nerd A dropped some of the toys and begins to say something, but then stops, telling the kids, "Finder's keepers." Nerd B picks up the toys and begins to play with them as he leaves. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on thou shalt not steal, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he knew that the toys belonged to Nerd A but didn’t return them.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerd A comes out playing with his toys.
Nerd B comes out and asks if he can play too. Nerd A tells him that
he has to leave pretty soon, but that he would love to play with him until
he does. Nerd A gives Nerd B a couple of his toys to play with telling
him that he can borrow them until he leaves. They play for a little
while, until Nerd A looks at his watch and realizes that he is late.
He grabs the toys he is playing with and quickly leaves. Nerd B looks
down at the toys that he let him play with and says, "He forgot to take
his toys back. Well, I guess they are mine now." Nerd B picks
up the toys and leaves.
Skit 4: Nerd A comes out playing with his toys. Nerd B comes out and asks if he can play too. Nerd A tells him that he has to leave pretty soon, but that he would love to play with him until he does. Nerd A gives Nerd B a couple of his toys to play with telling him that he can borrow them until he leaves. They play for a little while, until Nerd A looks at his watch and realizes that he is late. He grabs the toys he is playing with and quickly leaves, unknowingly dropping some on the ground. Nerd B looks down at the toys that he left behind, and quickly picks them up and runs after Nerd A to give him his toys. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on thou shalt not steal, and why it was. (It was because he gave the toys back.) 23. GOD USES LITTLE KIDS (1:12) (You will need two nerds, a narrator, and someone to play God's voice. You will two tables with blankets and pillows and a Teddy bear.) Once upon a time, there was a short, little, dopey, foureyed ... (pause - Samuel says "hey".) sorry, little boy named Samuel. (pause - Nerd A comes out dressed up as Samuel). Who lived with his adopted now blind but ruggedly handsome, dashing, and intelligent father Eli (pause - Nerd B comes out dressed up as Eli). One evening at the temple, Eli told Samuel that it was getting late, and that he needed to go to bed (pause - Samuel grabs his teddybear and goes over to lay down on a table on stage. Samuel can be silly as he tries to climb up on his bed, talk to his teddybear, snore ... etc.). Just as Samuel was going to sleep, he heard a voice calling out his name (pause - someone in the back of the stage says deeply into a microphone "Samuel, Samuel". When Samuel hears the voice he jumps out of bed screaming and asks Teddy if he heard that, and tells him Eli must want him). Samuel then got up to wake up Eli thinking that it must have been him. (pause - Samuel walk quietly up to Eli, then bends down and yells, "Eli, Eli" into his ear as he shakes him.). Eli told Samuel that it wasn't him, so to go back to bed. (pause - as Samuel goes back to bed, he is talking to Teddy). Moments later, Samuel hears that voice calling his name again (pause - he looks at Teddy and tells him he knows he heard him that time), and went to wake up Eli and ask what he wanted (pause). Eli, getting a little angry, told him to go back to bed (pause - Eli tells him its probably a nightmare brought on because of all the pizza he ate for dinner. Samuel tells him he only had the usual 16 pieces. Samuel again goes to lay down). Again, while Samuel was laying in bed, he heard his name being called out (pause), and once again Samuel went to wake up Eli and ask him what he wanted (pause - this time while Samuel is staring over Eli, he wakes up before Samuel says anything and screams.). This time Eli, realizing that it may be God trying to talk to Samuel, told him to go back to bed, and that next time when he hears that voice, say "Hear am I Lord" (pause). Samuel troubled and scratching his head, went back to bed (pause), and moments later heard that voice calling out his name (pause). This time Samuel said "Hear am I Lord (pause - Samuel asks the narrator, "What was I supposed to say?" and the narrator repeats and Samuel says it.), and God began to talk to him (pause - the voice begins to read the scriptures found in I Samuel as Samuel walks off of stage). The end. 24. JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN (You will need one nerd, and someone to play God's voice. The stage is set as the Pearly Gate to heaven. A fog machine makes a really good effect.) Someone introduces the skit, "Imagine if you will, that the stage is the Pearly Gate that leads to heaven. There is a line of people waiting to get in, when look (he points to the nerd who is walking onto the stage) here comes one more person, who suddenly and unexpectedly died, and is also getting in line to see if he can make it into heaven. Lets watch and see what happens." While he is introducing the skit, Nerd A comes out on the stage, and is acting like he is getting in line and then waiting to get into heaven. While he is acting like he is moving up in line, he starts telling the kids, "I was driving down the street when a semi-truck pulled into my lane. Then all of a sudden, shebang, here I am standing in line to get into heaven." He then takes another step forward in line. He tells the kids how excited he is when he hears a voice calling him by name. He acknowledges the voice, who then asks him, Voice: "Why should you be allowed
into heaven?"
(You can have as many reasons as you wish, and at the end of every reason the voice says, "Not good enough".) Nerd A: "Not good enough? Well, what
did you want me to do?"
As Nerd A begins to walk off the stage, he begins to comment on how warm, or rather, how hot it is down there. (You will need a narrator, 1 giant, 1 nerd shepherd boy, 1 nerd king, three guards, a calculator, a squirt gun, and two super-soakers. To make the giant funny looking, have him be two people, someone sitting on someone else’s shoulders, with a long gown over them.) Once upon a time, there was a king and his army. (pause - the king and his army come out skipping, then sit around joking with each other or playing duck, duck, goose.) Everything was going well in his kingdom, until one day when a giant came and challenged the king and his men. (pause - the giant walks out squirts the kids with his super-soaker and says "Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a Jewish man. If anyone who is in your army can beat me in a fight, then we will become your servants, but if I beat you, then you will become our servants, you bucket slime, you icky stuff found between the toes.") The king and his servants were scared of the giant, (pause - the king and his army act scared, and say, "Oh my, I am scared.") and would run away every time they saw him. (pause - the king and his army run away.) This went on for many days, (pause - repeat the scene two more times) until one day when the army was hanging around (pause - just the army comes out) a little boy named Arnold came (pause - Arnold comes out skipping, carrying a stuffed lamb and singing, "Arnold had a little lamb.") to give his brothers some bread and cheese. (pause - Arnold stops, looks at the narrator, and asks if peanut butter and jelly will work. The narrator says yes and then repeats his lines, only with peanut butter and jelly.) A little boy named Arnold came to give his brothers some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (pause - Arnold smiles and continues, giving the stuff to his brothers.) When the giant came out and challenged everyone (pause - the giant comes out and repeats his lines) instead of running away, (pause) Arnold asked, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine who dares to challenge the armies of the living God?" (pause - Arnold tries to quote what the narrator says and gets about half way through his lines, and asks the narrator, "What was that I said?" The narrator repeats it and Arnold finishes his lines.) When the people heard what Arnold said, they brought him to the King, who asked him about it. (pause - the king comes out and sits on a throne, and then asks him about it.) Arnold told the king that he once shot a squirrel and a bunny rabbit who once tried to get into his mommy's garden and eat the carrots and broccoli, (pause - Arnold describes the incident) and that God was able to help him get this giant too. (pause) The King then gave to Arnold his armor, and his kingly super-deluxe xj-7 special limited edition super-soaker, (pause) but because Arnold hadn't tested it, he turned it down, and went to go face the giant with nothing but his tiny little squirt-gun and calculator. (pause) Once again, the people were hanging around with the king (pause) when the giant came out (pause) but this time, Arnold met his challenge (pause - Arnold begins to change his mind, but the army pushes him back in) The giant laughed as he saw the funny looking, skinny, dorky, dopey (pause - Arnold looks at the narrator and says "Hey.") little boy. (pause) Arnold pulled out his calculator (pause) figured out the rotational speed of the earth, (pause) divided it by the gravitational pull, (pause) aimed his squirt gun, (pause - Arnold wets his finger, and sticks it into the air) and shot the giant right between the eyes. (pause - Arnold shoots the giant.) As the giant ran away crying to his mommy, (pause) the armies of the king began to celebrate, and rejoice at what Arnold had done. (pause) The end. (You will need a narrator, two nerds, and a girl.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on keeping your word. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A and Nerd B come out playing catch with a baseball. Nerd B asks Nerd A when he is going to teach him how to hit the ball. Nerd A tells Nerd B that if he will go get a bat, he will teach him today. Nerd B leaves to go get the bat. While Nerd A is hanging around, a girl comes out with two tickets to the baseball game, and asks Nerd A if he would go with her to the game. Nerd A faints, but then gets back up and tells her yes. She asks him if he should tell his friend that just left, but Nerd A asks, "What friend?" The two of them leave for the game. Nerd B comes back out. He begins calling for Nerd A, and leaves the stage looking for him. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on keeping your word, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he left and didn’t teach his friend how to bat.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Same as skit one, except Nerd A tells the girl that he would love to go, but first he has to tell his friend. He calls Nerd B and then tells him that he just heard that his pet goldfish has died, and he is just too emotionally upset and won't be able to teach him today. Nerd B tells him that he would be happy to stay with him and comfort him, but Nerd A quickly tells him no, to go on and practice without him. Nerd B leaves sad, and Nerd A whistles to the girl hidden off to the side of the stage. They leave together for the game. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on keeping your word, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he lied to him.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Same as skits one and two, except this time Nerd A tells Nerd B the truth and gives Nerd B some money to go and get batting lessons. Nerd B leaves and Nerd A whistles for the girl as they leave for the game. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on keeping your word, and why it was not. (It wasn't because even though he told him the truth, he still didn't do what he said he would do.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Same as skit 3, except Nerd A tells the girl he can only go to the game with her after he teaches his friend how to bat. She tells him that the game starts in five minutes, and that if he doesn’t want to go with her, she will find someone else who will. Nerd A tells her he wishes he could, but that he promised his friend. The girl leaves to find someone else. Just then, Nerd B comes out and asks Nerd A who the girl was and what she wanted. Nerd A stairs at the girl, takes a deep breath, sighs and then tells Nerd B, "Nothing important. Now come on, lets go learn how to bat." Nerd B tells Nerd A, "Groovy. Hey, by the way, I got tickets for tomorrow’s baseball game if you want to go." Nerd A pats Nerd B on the back and they leave to go practice batting. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on keeping your word, and why it was. (It was because he kept his word and did what he promised.) (You will need a narrator, one nerd, someone to play the voice from heaven, a radio, and a sign that says, "Do Not Touch.") The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch three skits on repentance. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: The nerd comes out and sees the radio on the table. He reads the sign that says, "Do Not Tough" but touches and turns on the radio anyway. A voice from heaven tries to say something to him, but he just ignores it. The voice gets louder, so he turns the volume on the radio up. The voice gets even louder, so he plugs his ears and starts to hum saying, "I can’t hear you," as he walks off stage. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on repentance, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he wouldn't even listen to God let alone repent.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: The nerd comes out and sees the radio on the table. He reads the sign that says, "Do Not Tough" but touches the radio anyway. A voice from heaven tells him not to touch the radio, and he says, "Oh, I am sorry," but then attracted by the radio, touches it again. The voice speaks again and the nerd says again, "Oh, I am really sorry. I won’t do it again," but continues to touch and play with the radio. The voice speaks one last time, and the nerd says, "Oh, this time I really am sorry," and begins to walk out. He then runs back and touches the radio one last time yelling, "I am sorry," and then runs back off stage. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on repentance, and why it was not. (It wasn't because even though he said he was sorry, he kept doing it.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 3: The nerd comes out and sees the radio on the table. He reads the sign that says, "Do Not Tough" but touches the radio anyway. A voice from heaven tells him he is not to touch the radio, and the nerd stops, falls on his knees and really tells God that he is sorry. Someone comes up and asks if he could turn the radio up, and he says, "Oh, no. The sign says, "Do Not Touch." The nerd then leaves. The person starts to touch the radio and the nerd comes running in and gently tackles him and says, "Do not touch the radio." They both get up and leave. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on repentance, and why it was. (It was because he listened to God and then quit doing it.) 28. LOVE (modern day Bible story)(4:11) (You will need a narrator, 3 nerds, one athlete, and two little old ladies.) The narrator enters and begins to read the story to the kids. The characters enter and act it out accordingly. Once upon a time, there was a tall, charming, handsome stranger (pause - Nerd A comes walking out) well at least he was tall (pause - Nerd A looks at the narrator) who went out for a walk. (pause - Nerd A can be singing a song while walking.) And while he was walking down the street, a gang of tough notorious ruffian outlaws (pause - two old ladies come out) jumped him and beat him up and took his wallet and left him for dead. (pause - as they leave they tell him, "By the way, you're a lousy singer.") While he was lying there unable to move, (pause - Nerd A says, "I've fallen, and I can't get up.") a pastor from the local church happened by. (pause - Nerd B walks in looking very religious, holding and reading a Bible. Nerd A looks at him and says, "Wow, this guy is a fancy dresser, he will surely help me.") He saw the strange, poor, disgusting, retched, lonely ... (pause - Nerd A looks at narrator and says, "Hey." The narrator says he is sorry and continues) ... man, lying on the ground injured. (pause - Nerd B says, "Look, a strange, poor, disgust, retched, lonely ..." Nerd A cuts him off saying a little louder, "Hey!" and Nerd B continues, " ... man, laying on the floor hurt.") But instead of helping the stranger, he simply ignored him (pause) and walked on the other side of the road. (pause) A few minutes later (pause) a second man, a deacon of the stranger's church (pause - Nerd C now comes out also holding a bible) came walking down the road and saw the strange, poor, disgusting, retched, lonely ... (pause - again Nerd A interrupts him and says even louder, "Hey !!!") … sorry, man. (pause - Nerd A says, "Oh boy, this guy is a deacon in our church, surely he will help me.") But instead of helping, he too passed by on the other side of the road, already late for his Sunday School class. (pause - Nerd C looks down and tells Nerd A, "I would love to help you, but I am already late for my Sunday School class, you strange, poor, disgusting retched, lonely..." once again Nerd A interrupts him and Nerd C finishes, "man." Nerd C then leaves.) Finally a weirdly dressed man came walking down the road, (pause - the business man is actually dressed normal to us, but strange if you are a nerd. Nerd A sees him and says, "Oh swell, look at this weirdo! I'll never get any help from him.") and seeing the strange... (pause - the narrator stops and looks at Nerd A as Nerd A looks at the narrator with an angry look) I mean, the kindly man, badly hurt on the road, (pause) and had compassion on him, (pause) mended his wounds, (pause) helped him to his feet, (pause) and carried him to the local hospital. (pause - the business man gives Nerd A a piggy back ride off the stage.) The end. 29. FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS (4:9) (You will need four nerds, one teacher, a lemonade stand, water, sugar, lemons and other ingredients.) Nerd A comes out and tries to make some lemonade to sell, but doesn't follow any recipe and uses the wrong ingredients or too much of one ingredient. Nerd B comes out, and Nerd A seeing Nerd B tries to sell him a cup. Nerd B buys a cup and takes a sip, but then spits it out on the floor saying, "This stuff tastes terrible." He then takes his money back and leaves. Nerd A tries to make some more, again without a recipe, only to have the same results. Nerd C, who comes in complaining about how thirsty he is, sees the lemonade stand and goes to buy a cup of lemonade. This time Nerd C spits out the lemonade on Nerd A's shoes. He too takes his money back and leaves. Nerd A tries for the third time, but this time Nerd D, who comes in running and doing exercises, after drinking the lemonade, spits it out on Nerd A's shirt. Nerd A is frustrated and disappointed and decides to quit the lemonade business. Just then, one of the children's church teachers comes out and asks what he is trying to do. Nerd A tells him that he is trying to make some yummy lemonade to sell and make money, but no matter what he does, it comes out bad. The teacher asks if all of the ingredients are good, and Nerd A tells him that he just bought them this morning. The teacher then asks to see his recipe. Nerd A says, "What recipe?" The teacher asks Nerd A how he is making the lemonade if he doesn't have any instructions. Nerd A tells him he is making it the way he thinks is best. The teacher gets a recipe book from the back, and together they make the lemonade. Nerd A gives a cup for the teacher to try, and then ducks when he drinks it. This time though, the lemonade is good, and Nerd A tells the teacher that it will cost him a buck for the glass of lemonade. The two leave as they argue about having to pay. (You will need a narrator, three nerds, and some baseball equipment.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on being friends. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out and tells the kids that he is new to the city and doesn't have any friends. He then sits down on a bench and mopes. Nerds B and C come out and begin playing baseball and then notice Nerd A sitting sadly by himself. Nerds B and C go over to Nerd A and ask if he wants to play baseball with them. Nerd A tells them that they wouldn't want to play with him, and walks out with his head hung down. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about being a friend, and why it was not. (It wasn't being a friend, because he wouldn't play with them.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd A comes out and tells the kids that he is new to the city and doesn't have any friends. He then sits down on a bench and mopes. Nerds B and C come out and begin playing baseball. Nerd A sees the nerds playing and goes over to them to ask if he can play too, "Hey you dorky looking weirdoes, can I play your stupid game too?" Nerds B and C look at each other and then leave to go play elsewhere. Nerd A says, "I didn’t think they would let me play." Nerd A then leaves. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about being a friend, and why it was not. (It wasn't being a friend, because he called them names and was mean to them. If you want people to be friendly to you, you have to be friendly to them.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Same as skit one, except this time Nerd A starts to play with them. He then begins to boss them around, and tell them that they have to play his way or else he won't play with them. The Nerds leave. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about being a friend, and why it was not. (It wasn't being a friend, because he was bossy and didn't play nice.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Same as skit one, except this time Nerd A plays with them and plays nicely. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about being a friend, and why it was. (It was being a friend, because he played with them nicely.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, and a toy.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on thanksgiving. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out, then Nerd B comes out and gives to Nerd A a gift. Nerd A begins to whine and complain about it and then throws it on the ground and leaves. (He complains it is stupid, or no longer in style, or the wrong color …etc.) Nerd B picks it up and also leaves. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about thanksgiving, and why it was not. (It wasn't a skit on thanksgiving, because he just whined and complained and threw the toy on the ground.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Same as skit one, except this time Nerd A rips the toy away from Nerd B and begins to play with it. A minute later Nerd B asks if he can play with it too. Nerd A gets mad and tells him that it is his toy, and then storms out. Nerd B quietly says, "You're welcome" and leaves also. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about thanksgiving, and why it was not. (It wasn't a skit on thanksgiving, because he was selfish and ungrateful to the one who gave him the toy.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Same as skit one, except this time Nerd A gently accepts the toy and begins to play with it. He then stops and says with a flippant attitude, "Oh yeah, by the way, thanks, I guess." He then leaves playing. Nerd B leaves also. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about thanksgiving, and why it was not. (It wasn't a skit on thanksgiving, because even though he said thank you, he didn't mean it.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Same as skit one, except this time Nerd A gently accepts the toy and begins to play with it, but then stops and sincerely thanks Nerd B for it. Nerd B tells him he is welcome, and Nerd A asks Nerd B if he would like a chance to play with it too. They both leave together. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about thanksgiving, and why it was. (It was thanksgiving, because he sincerely thanked him for it.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, a present and two toys.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on giving. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerds A and B come out talking about Christmas. Nerd B asks Nerd A what he got him for Christmas. Nerd A tells Nerd B that he hasn't gotten him a present yet. Nerd B gets mad and yells at Nerd A telling him that he doesn't know anything about Christmas, because if he did, he would have bought him a present just like the wise guys did when Jesus was born. Nerd B leaves mad, and Nerd A leaves apologizing. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on giving, and why it wasn't. (It wasn't because Nerd B wasn't even looking to give, but only to get.) Skit 2: Nerd A comes out and tells the kids that he is meeting Nerd B for a Christmas party. Nerd B then comes out with a present in his hand. Nerd A asks what the present is for and Nerd B tells him it is for him. Nerd B then asks Nerd A, "Where is the present you got for me?" Nerd A tells Nerd B that he didn't get him a present because he didn't know they were going to exchange gifts. Nerd B gets mad and storms out with his gift telling Nerd A, "How are we supposed to celebrate Christmas if you don't even get me a present?" Nerd A leaves. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on giving, and why it wasn't. (It wasn't because he would only give if he thought he was getting something in return.) Skit 3: Nerd A comes out and tells the kids that he is meeting Nerd B for a Christmas party. Nerd B then comes out with a present in his hand. Nerd A asks what the present is for and Nerd B tells him it is for him. Nerd B then asks Nerd A, "Where is the present you got for me?" Nerd A tells Nerd B that he didn't get him a present because he didn't know they were going to exchange gifts. Nerd B tells him, "That's OK, go ahead and open the present I gave you." Nerd A opens the present, and Nerd B watching Nerd A enjoy playing with it decides that he wants it back, they get into a tussle and Nerd B leaves with his toy. Nerd A also leaves. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on giving, and why it wasn't. (It wasn't because even though he gave it, he took it back.) Skit 4: Nerd A comes out and tells the kids that he is meeting Nerd B for a Christmas party. Nerd B then comes out with a present in his hand. Nerd A asks what the present is for and Nerd B tells him it is for him. Nerd B then asks Nerd A, "Where is the present you got for me?" Nerd A tells Nerd B that he didn't get him a present because he didn't know they were going to exchange gifts. Nerd B tells him that it is OK, because he didn't tell Nerd A that he was going to get him a gift. Nerd B then gives Nerd A the present, who opens it and begins to play with it. Nerd A tells Nerd B that he feels bad about not getting him a present and asks Nerd B if he would like to play with it. Nerd B tells Nerd A the fun part of Christmas isn't getting presents, but giving. He then tells Nerd A, "And anyway, I bought one for myself also." He pulls out a similar toy and the two begin to play and then leave. Narrator asks the kids if that was a skit on giving, and why it was. (It was because he gave even though he didn't get anything in return.) (You will need two nerds, a teacher, a chalk board, a wanted poster with the picture of one of the nerds on it, and a Polaroid camera.) The teacher comes out working on an old recipe which she is writing on the chalk board. Nerd A comes out dressed like "James Bond 005.6 & ¾" and spies on the teacher, annoying her. The teacher tells Nerd A that she is in the middle of copying down a very important recipe handed down from generation to generation. Nerd A takes a photograph of the teacher and the recipe board. Nerd A then tells the teacher that he needs her help for a very important, highly classified, top secret mission. The teacher asks what, and Nerd A tells her that he needs her to take him down to the store to buy some toilet paper, because they just ran out. The teacher asks, "This is a very important mission?" And Nerd A says, "It is if you are the next one to use the upstairs bathroom." The teacher tells Nerd A that she needs a break from working on the recipe, and so she and Nerd A leave to go to the store after she leaves a note for Nerd B to clean up the room. While they are gone, Nerd B comes in looking for the teacher. He tells the kids that she asked him to come over and help straighten up the room with her. He looks around checking all of the doors, but doesn't find her. He finds the note, reads it, and then starts to clean up the stage, sweeping and picking up trash. He then looks up at the chalk board and says, "Boy, what a mess. I will clean the board, and make it look brand new." Nerd B finishes cleaning, and leaves. The teacher and Nerd A (now dressed in a new disguise, and checking to see if the coast is clear) come back in from the store and notice that the room has been cleaned. They both comment on how good a job Nerd B did. The teacher then looks at the board and says, "Oh no, the board has been cleaned." Nerd A says, "Yeah, and it looks almost brand new too." The teacher tells Nerd A that he doesn't understand, that the board was the only copy of the recipe handed down from generation to generation, and now it is gone. Nerd A tells the teacher, "Don’t you worry. This is a job for James Bond 005.6 & ¾. I will hunt down Nerd B and bring him back, dead or alive." Nerd A leaves to go find Nerd B. After Nerd A leaves, the teacher realizes that it was just a mistake by Nerd B and decides that she is going to forgive him. The teacher leaves. Nerd A comes out wearing a new disguise, and puts up a wanted poster of Nerd B, telling the kids that if they see him, to let him know. (The reward is for 50 cents.) Nerd A leaves. Nerd B comes in, looks at the wanted poster and makes a comment on how good looking the person in the picture is. He sits down and begins to eat his lunch. While he is eating, Nerd A comes in hiding behind a tree, and begins to sneak up on him. (Every time Nerd A moves, Nerd B looks around, but doesn't see him.) Nerd A then grabs him and tells him not to go anywhere while he goes and gets the teacher so that she can beat him up for ruining her recipe. While Nerd A is going to get the teacher, Nerd B begins to panic. Nerd A comes back with the teacher who is carrying a frying pan, and tells her to go ahead and beat him up. The teacher goes to grab Nerd B by the arm and Nerd B screams. The teacher tells him not to worry, that she was upset at him at first, but that she isn’t now. She tells him when she saw that the chalk board was erased, she got a little mad, but then she realized it was just a mistake, and that she is not going to beat him up, but has decided to forgive him. (While the teacher is talking to Nerd B, Nerd A repeats all of the things she says. Example: The teacher says she was mad, and Nerd A says, "Yeah, really mad.") Nerd A asks, "Forgive him? What do you mean forgive him? I am leaving." Nerd A then leaves. Nerd B apologizes and tells her that it was just a mistake. The teacher tells him that she knows it was a mistake, and that is why she forgives him. Nerd A then comes in and begins to apologize to Nerd B for the way he acted, and not forgiving him. Nerd B forgives Nerd A, and Nerd A asks the teacher and Nerd B if they would like to see the pictures he took this morning. Nerd B is excited, and the teacher acting like she is excited, though she is not, says sure. They begin to look at the pictures, when the teacher stops and grabs the one with her and the chalk board with the recipe on it. She tells Nerd A the he has saved the day by accidentally taking a picture of the recipe. Nerd A says, "Of course, just another days work for ‘James Bond 005.6 & 3/4.’" Nerd A then tells them that they should celebrate by going out to eat or something. He then begins to check his pockets for money but finds none. Nerd B checks his pockets also, and finds no money. The teacher tells them that because she has found her lost recipe, that this one is on her. All three leave to go eat. (You will need a narrator and two nerds.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on how to pray. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd B comes out and tells the kids he wants to learn how to pray. Nerd A comes out carrying a bible, and Nerd B, supposing he is a Christian, asks Nerd A if he could teach him how to pray. Nerd A tells Nerd B that in order to pray, he has to kneel down, put his hands together, close his eyes, and then repeat the exact same words after him. Both nerds kneel down, put their hands together, close their eyes, and then Nerd A begins a King James Version prayer which Nerd B repeats. Nerd B stops periodically and asks questions about what some word means, or why they are praying in that way. Prayer:
They finish praying, and Nerd A leaves satisfied that he has accomplished teaching Nerd B, while Nerd B leaves even more confused then when he started. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on how to pray correctly. (It wasn’t because he is only repeating after him.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd B comes out and tells the kids he wants to learn how to pray. Nerd A comes out, and Nerd B asks Nerd A if he could teach him how to pray. Nerd A tells Nerd B that in order to pray, he has to kneel down, put his hands together, close his eyes, and then pray like him. Prayer
Nerd A tells Nerd B, "Now you try it." Nerd B begins to pray and thank God, but Nerd A interrupts him and tells him that God is a busy person and that he needs to get to the asking part. Nerd B starts asking for lots of things, and Nerd A says, "Now you got the idea." The two nerds leave with Nerd B still asking for things. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on how to pray correctly. (It wasn’t because he only prayed for things he wanted. There are times we should pray for things we need, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we pray for.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerd B comes out and tells the kids he wants to learn how to pray. Nerd A comes out, and Nerd B asks Nerd A if he could teach him how to pray. Nerd A looks around nervously and says, "What’s going to happen." Nerd B looks around nervously and says, "Nothing that I know of." Nerd A then looks at Nerd B and sadly says, "Oh my friend, then some tragedy surely must have hit your family." Nerd B tells him, "No, we are all fine." Nerd A now becoming a little angry asks, "Are you planning on doing something dangerous or important later on today?" Nerd B says, "No." Getting mad, Nerd A then asks, "Why in the world do you want to pray. I mean if there is nothing bad going to happen, and if no calamity has happened to you or your family, or if you are not going to do something important or dangerous, then why do you want to pray. You only pray when you have to. Dahhhhhhh." Both nerds leave. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on how to pray correctly. (It wasn’t because he only prayed when things got bad.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Nerd B comes out and tells the kids he wants to learn how to pray. Nerd A comes out, and Nerd B asks Nerd A if he could teach him how to pray. Nerd A tells Nerd B that praying is just like talking to your mommy and daddy. If you do something wrong, you pray and ask God to forgive you. If you need help with something, you pray and ask God for help or wisdom. If you need something, you pray and ask God. Nerd B asks, "How often should I pray?" Nerd A replies, "Oh all the time. Sometimes I even pray just to tell God that I think he is really groovy." Nerds A and B leave as Nerd A begins to demonstrate a prayer for him. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on how to pray correctly. (It was.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, and some toys.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on standing up to peer pressure. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out and begins to play with his toys. Nerd B comes out and begins to tease Nerd A, telling him that playing with those kinds of toys is childish and un-cool. Nerd A looks up nervously and tells Nerd B, "I wasn’t playing with these toys. Ahhh, I was ahhh, I was just watching them for my little kid brother. Yea, that’s it. As a matter of fact, I was even thinking about, ahhh, maybe even breaking them. Yea." Nerd B pats him on the back and tells him to come with him and he will teach him how to play cool games. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about standing up to peer pressure, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he quit playing with his toys and left to go play other games.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd A comes out and begins to play with his toys. Nerd B comes out and begins to tease Nerd A, telling him that playing with those kinds of toys is childish and uncool. Nerd A begins to cry and runs away saying, "Mommy, the funny looking kid laughed at me and made fun of me for playing with my toys." Nerd B just looks at the kids, shrugs his shoulders and walks away. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about standing up to peer pressure, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he quit playing and started crying.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerd A comes out and begins to play with
his toys. Nerd B comes out and begins to tease Nerd A, telling him
that playing with those kinds of toys is childish and uncool. Nerd
A says, "I wasn’t playing with them." Nerd B says, "I saw you."
Nerd A says, "Then you saw wrong." Nerd B turns away, and Nerd A
starts to play with his toys. Nerd B turns back around and says,
"There, you were playing with them again." Nerd A says, "No I wasn’t."
Nerd B, "You was too." Nerd A, "Was not." Nerd B turns around
for just one second and then turns back, during which time, Nerd A plays
with his toy for the second and then stops. Nerd B say, "Now I know
you were playing with your stupid toys."
The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about standing up to peer pressure, and why it was not. (It wasn't because even though he continued to play with his toys, he only played with them when no one was looking.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Nerd A comes out and begins to play with his toys. Nerd B comes out and begins to tease Nerd A, telling him that playing with those kinds of toys is childish and uncool. Nerd A says, "Then I guess I am childish and un-cool, but it is fun, and I like it. Do you want to play with me?" Nerd B looks around, then starts to play with one of the toys. As he plays, he comments, "I always wanted to do this." The two nerds leave still playing. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about standing up to peer pressure, and why it was. (It was because he didn’t quit playing with his toys, and even offered to have the bully play with him too.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds and a hot apple pie.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on fleeing temptation. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out reading a book. Nerd B comes out wearing a sign that says, "Bad Guy" and tells Nerd A to take a piece of apple pie. Without even looking up to see who it is, Nerd A says sure, and the two nerds take the apple pie and leave. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about fleeing temptation, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he blindly followed him and did it.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd A comes out reading a book. Nerd B comes out and tells Nerd A to take a piece of apple pie. Nerd A looks up from his book and says, "I really shouldn’t." Nerd B tells him before he gives his final answer, he should go over and take a closer look. Nerd A say, "That’s a good idea. I guess it won’t hurt if I just take a closer look." Nerd A then says, "You know, I probably shouldn’t." Nerd B cuts him off, and tells him before he makes his final decision, that he should go and take a small bite. Nerd A says, "That’s a good idea. I mean, what could it hurt if I just take a small bite." Nerd A takes a bite and Nerd B say, "Are you in?" Nerd A, no longer able to restrain from the temptation says, "You bet." The two nerds grab the apple pie and leave. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about fleeing temptation, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he allowed himself to get pulled in.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerd A comes out reading a book. Nerd B comes out and tells Nerd A to take a piece of apple pie. Nerd A looks up from his book and says, "I really shouldn’t." Nerd B tells him before he gives his final answer, he should go over and take a closer look. Nerd A say, "I don’t think that would be a wise idea. No, I think it would be wrong to take a piece." Nerd B asks, "What would be wrong with it?" Nerd A tells him it would be stealing. Nerd B tells him it wouldn’t be stealing if it belonged to him. Nerd A says, "True, but it doesn’t belong to me." Nerd B tells him that it doesn’t have a name on it, and maybe it was put there by someone just for him." Nerd A says, "That could be true. People do know I come here all the time, and they know I love apple pie." Nerd B answers, "And I don’t see anyone else here except for you." Nerd A says, "You are right, it probably was left here for me, and it would be rude of me not to accept a gift from someone." Nerd B pats him on the back and says, "That’s the way to think." The two nerds grab the apple pie and leave. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about fleeing temptation, and why it was not. (It wasn't because though at first he know it was wrong, he convinced himself it was OK and did it.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Nerd A comes out reading a book. Nerd B comes out and tells Nerd A to take a piece of apple pie. Nerd A screams and runs off the stage. Nerd B looks at the kids and leaves also. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about fleeing temptation, and why is was. (It was because he fled before he could be further tempted.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, and a table.) The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on meekness. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerds A comes out and tells the kids that he is going to have an arm wrestling contest with Nerd B. Nerd A then begins to stretch and warm up. Nerd B comes out and the two meet at the table to have an arm wrestling contest. They talk the narrator into saying, "Ready, set, go." The narrator does what they ask, and Nerd B beats Nerd A in about two seconds. Nerd A jumps up and begins to brag, "Man, did you see that? Wow, I made you sweat. Oh baby, I could see the fear in your face, when I almost beat you. Am I great or what?" Nerd A leaves, and Nerd B just looks at the kids, shruggs his shoulders and walks out. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on meekness, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he didn't even win. Sometimes people see themselves as better than they actually are.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerds A comes out and tells the kids that he is going to have an arm wrestling contest with Nerd B. Nerd A then begins to stretch and warm up. Nerd B comes out and the two meet at the table to have an arm wrestling contest. They talk the narrator into saying, "Ready, set, go." The narrator does what they ask, and this time Nerd A beats Nerd B, but it takes about twenty seconds. Nerd A jumps up and begins to brag, "Oh baby, did you see that? I could see the fear in your face as we were arm wrestling. Man, I whooped you bad. I mean, am I great or what?" Nerd A leaves, and Nerd B just looks at the kids, shruggs his shoulders and says, "Congratulations" and walks out. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on meekness, and why it was not. (It wasn't because he bragged about how great he was.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerds A comes out and tells the kids that he is going to have an arm wrestling contest with Nerd B. Nerd A then begins to stretch and warm up. Nerd B comes out and the two meet at the table to have an arm wrestling contest. They talk the narrator into saying, "Ready, set, go." The narrator does what they ask, and this time Nerd A beats Nerd B, and it takes about thirty seconds or so. Nerd B says, "Wow, that was good. I am impressed with your strength." Nerd A then begins to act overly humble saying, "Oh man, it was just the Lord. I mean, I am nothing, just truly dust. I don't even deserve to win." Nerd A shakes his head no, and walks out. Nerd B just looks at the kids, shruggs his shoulders and says, "You are welcome?" The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on meekness, and why it was not. (This one might take a little explaining. It wasn't because he was displaying "false" humility which is sometimes prideful.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Nerds A comes out and tells the kids that he is going to have an arm wrestling contest with Nerd B. Nerd A then begins to stretch and warm up. Nerd B comes out and the two meet at the table to have an arm wrestling contest. They talk the narrator into saying, "Ready, set, go." The narrator does what they ask, and this time Nerd A beats Nerd B, and it takes about thirty seconds or so. Nerd B says, "Wow, that was good. I am impressed with your strength." Nerd A says, "Why thank you, I have been working out for the past couple of weeks." He makes a muscle and grabs his bicept. He then grabs Nerd B's muscle and says, "It looks like you have been working out as well, cause that was one tough match. Hey, do you want to go out for lunch?" Nerd B says yes, "And I will pay." Nerd A says, "No way, I'm paying." The nerds look at each other and say at the same time, "Do you want to arm wrestle for it?" Both nerds leave laughing. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit on meekness, and why it was. (It was because he was humble.) 38. ANSWERING GOD'S CALL (6:12) (You will need a narrator, a nerd, a telephone, and a sign that says, "Help Wanted. Call 1800-924-LORD") The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on answering God's calling. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Some comes out and sets up a sign next to a telephone that says, "Help Wanted. Call 1-800-924-LORD". Nerd A comes out and sees the sign and begins to scream and run around in circles. Every time he looks at the sign, he screams again. Nerd A then runs off of the stage. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about answering God's call, and why it was not. (It wasn't, because he just screamed and ran off the stage.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit : 2 Nerd A comes out and sees the sign and decides to pick up the phone and call. God answers (God's voice is someone from behind the stage) and Nerd A says, "Is this really God? Wow. Hey, while I have you on the phone, I got a few things I need to ask you for. I want a new bicycle, and a new sweater, and a new computer, a laptop with at least 1024 DDR RAM and of course a 100 gigabyte hard drive .... etc." When he finally ends his list of things he needs, he says, "Well, thanks God, it was really good talking to you." Nerd A finally hangs up, and walks off the stage saying how cool it is to talk to God. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about answering God's call, and why it was not. (It wasn't, because he never gave God an opportunity to talk.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit : 3 Nerd A comes out and sees the sign and decides to pick up the phone and call. God answers and Nerd A says, "Is this really God? Wow. Hey, what do you need?" God asks if Nerd A could help out. Nerd A then answers God, "Well, I am more than willing to help you God, but whatever you do, don't put me in the nursery. They all have poopie diapers, and I can't stand the smell. And don't put me with the preschoolers either, all they do is run around like chickens with their head cut off, and they all have snotty noses which is really icky. But now, if you want me to get in front of the entire congregation and preach a fantastic sermon, and dazzle the crowds with my suave and swell preaching, then sure, I am your man." Nerd A finally hangs up, and walks off the stage saying how cool it is to work for God. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about answering God's call, and why it was not. (It wasn't, because he told God what he wanted to do instead of finding out what God wanted him to do.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit : 4 Nerd A comes out and sees the sign and decides to pick up the phone and call. God answers and Nerd A says, "Is this really God? Wow. So what exactly do you need? Did you say you needed someone to go into the men's bathroom, and clean the toilets? Is that what I heard you say? Sure God, anything for you. What, you say you need me to witness that mean guy down the street? And even invite him to lunch? Why sure God. " Nerd A finally hangs up, and walks off the stage saying how cool it is to work for God. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about answering God's call, and why it was. (It was, because he did what God asked of him.) (You will need a narrator, two nerds, three cheap pies, a tarp for the mess, and a sign that says, "Pie for Sale.") The narrator comes out and tells the kids that they are going to watch four skits on self control. He then introduces skit number one. Skit 1: Nerd A comes out with a pie. He tells the kids that he just baked the pie, and that he is going to sell it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then sets up his table and sign. Nerd B then walks out and asks about the pie. Nerd A tells him that he just baked it, and that he is selling it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A asks Nerd B if he would like to buy a piece. Nerd B says, "A special edition, laser engraved neon bowling ball with matching pocket protector and shoes? Don't give me a piece, give me the whole pie." Nerd B gives him the money, grabs the pie and eats the whole thing. Nerd B then burps as Nerd A just stares in amazement. Both nerds leave. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about self control, and why it was not. (It wasn't self control, because he ate the whole pie.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Nerd A comes out with a new pie. He tells the kids that he just baked the pie, and that he is going to sell it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then sets up his table and sign. Nerd B walks out and asks about the pie. Nerd A tells him that he just baked it, and that he is selling it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then asks Nerd B if he would like to buy a piece. Nerd B says, "I have a buddy that has one of those bowling balls. He says it is the swellest bowling ball he has ever had. I guess it would be OK if I had just one piece." Nerd B pays the money and eats the piece of pie, and compliments Nerd A on how yummy it is. Nerd A then asks if he would like to buy another piece? Nerd B says he shouldn't but gives in, just to help him earn money for his bowling ball. Nerd B again compliments Nerd A on how good it was and pats his tummy saying that he is full. Nerd A again asks if he would like another piece, and again Nerd B says he shouldn't but takes one anyway. Nerd B compliments Nerd A with his mouth is still full of pie. Nerd A says he only has one more and asks if he would be interested in last piece. Nerd B says (again with his mouth still full from the last piece), "I really shouldn't but ... OK." Both nerds leave as Nerd B is cramming the pie in his mouth saying, "Any more pie, and I will start to look like a bowling ball." The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about self control, and why it was not. (It wasn't self control, because he wouldn't stop even though he knew he should.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 3: Nerd A comes out with a new pie. He tells the kids that he just baked the pie, and that he is going to sell it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then sets up his table and sign. Nerd B walks out and asks about the pie. Nerd A tells him that he just baked it, and that he is selling it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then asks Nerd B if he would like to buy a piece. Nerd B screams and begins to run around in circles and then finally out. Nerd A grabs the pie and says something like, "I may not be the best cook in the world, but its not that bad." Nerd A leaves as he smells the pie, and then his underarm. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about self control, and why it was not. (It wasn't self control, because he just ran out.) This is one that will have to be explained. When we are tempted to do wrong, we should run, but when there are things that are good for us to do, then it is OK to do them, just as long as we don't over do them. For example, eating candy is OK, eating too much candy is bad. Self control allows us to eat candy, but not too much.) He then introduces skit number four. Skit 4: Nerd A comes out with a pie. He tells the kids that he just baked the pie, and that he is going to sell it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then sets up his table and sign. Nerd B walks out and asks about the pie. Nerd A tells him that he just baked it, and that he is selling it to make money for a new neon, special edition, laser engraved bowling ball, with matching pocket protector and shoes. Nerd A then asks Nerd B if he would like to buy a piece. Nerd B says, "A special edition, laser engraved neon bowling ball? That is so nifty. Well, I think it would be OK if I helped you out and had just one piece." Nerd B eats the piece of pie, and compliments Nerd A on how yummy it is. Nerd A asks if he would like to buy another one? Nerd B says, "It was a yummy pie, but I really shouldn't. I have to keep in shape for my mathematics' club. But I will give you an extra dollar to help with your bowling ball fund." Both nerds leave. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about self control, and why it was. (It was self control because he only ate one piece of pie.) (You will need a narrator, 1 nerd, 1 valley girl, and some very light weights.) Skit 1: The nerd comes out and begins to lift weights and falls down with the weights around his neck, choking him. The Valley girl comes out and sees the nerd on the ground begging her for help and says, "Oh my goodness, like I am like so like sure like. Like I wouldn't touch your sweaty body if like my life like depended on it, like." The valley girl leaves, and the nerd somehow gets up and leaves also. The narrator then asks the kids if that was a skit about giving of yourself, and why it was not. (It wasn't because she didn't even try to help him.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 2: Same as skit one, but this time the valley girl says that she would like to help, but that she doesn't want to get all sweaty, so she tells him to wait there, and she will go and get some help, "Like stay there like, and like I will like go and like get someone to like help like." The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about giving of yourself, and why it was not. (It wasn't because she didn't want to help him herself and get sweaty.) He then introduces skit number two. Skit 3: Same as skit one, but this time the valley girl says that she would like to help, but that she doesn't want to get all sweaty, so she puts on a mask, gown, rubber gloves and hands him a stick to pull him up. They both leave. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about giving of yourself, and why it was not. (It wasn't because even though she helped him, she did it in a very offish, impersonal way.) He then introduces skit number three. Skit 4: Same as skit one, but this time the valley girl does help him and doesn't worry about all the sweat. The narrator asks the kids if that was a skit about giving of yourself, and why it was. (It was because she helped.) (For a variation, you can have the nerd
drop the weights on his fingers, on his toes, or lift the weights over
his head and fall down backwards hurting himself.)
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