OK to say, "NO"
I have been told at countless seminars,
that we as teachers should never say, "No." Yet when
I read the Bible, I find that God says no an awful lot. God often
teaches using negatives, just read the prophets. Eight out of ten
commandments have the words, "shalt not" in them. Many of the great
stories in the Old and New Testaments have negative lessons, or positive
lessons learned from negative situations. The apostle Paul when wondering
where he was to go, heard "no" a couple of times from God before he was
told where to go (Acts 16:6-10). I have found this true in my own
life as well, we as human beings are more sensitive to hearing the negative.
Many athletes will tell you that they learn more from a defeat, a negative,
than a win. Wins are funner and more positive, but loses are better
learning tools, tools to teach us to become winners. Do not throw
out one of the most powerful words in the English language. The first
word a child understands is the word "No." We say it
constantly as parents to our babies, because they do not understand reasoning.
That one simple word has huge meaning.
I like to use both negatives and positives
together. For example, I will tell the kids not to talk while I am
talking (negative), then I will explain why (positive). Be positive
with your kids, but it is OK to say, "No."