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Greetings in the name of our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ. If you are like me, you are probably tired of forking
out a lot of money for curriculum that is just
not worth it !!! I know that many of you have good ideas
and quality programs, but you need some new and
fresh ideas to use every once in a while. God has put on my
heart to write down some of the best ideas we have had in the past 15 years,
to pass them on to others. Jesus said, "Freely ye have received, freely
give", and being the God didn't charge us for the ideas He gave, we aren't
going to charge, but give to others what He has given to us.
We also suggest, and ask that you come
up with your own names in the place of the names you will find on the following
pages. This will allow for your Children's Church to be unique,
and fitted to your own personalities and characters. If every church had
a puppet with the same name, yet they all looked and sounded different,
this would seem strange to a child who might visit your church on one particular
If you have enjoyed this curriculum, please
feel free to duplicate it and give
it to others. This ministry's purpose is to get kids to Jesus, and to get
the words of Jesus to the kids. Also, if you have any ideas you would like
to share, please send them in, and we gladly will pass them on.
Peter says in II Peter 1:12-15 that he
continually put the people in remembrance of God's truths even though they
already knew them and were established in those truths, so that when he
would go on to be with the Lord, the people would have those truths firmly
and deeply rooted in their minds. In the same way, we in the Children's
Ministry need to continually put our kids in remembrance of Jesus and His
truths, even though they think they
know it all and are established in those truths, so that when they leave
our Sunday School, they will always have these truths firmly and deeply
rooted in them, and be able to stand strong in the faith of their Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ.
If you have found this curriculum helpful,
or if you haven't, please email us and let us know what you think. Your
opinion is not only desired, but needed. email@example.com
Now, God bless you as you minister unto
"Clunky" is a puppet who is always listening
to the memory verse and Bible story, but like Nicodemus when he talked
with Jesus about being born again, doesn't quite understand what is meant.
For example: In the book of Ephesians, it talks about having the "Shield
of Faith," so Clunk comes up carrying a cardboard shield with the words
"faith" written on it. With Clunk always goofing up, this gives you a good
opportunity to explain to him, and to the children, what exactly is meant
in that particular verse or story. We stress that these are only
skeletal ideas, and that you will need to take time on your own to figure
out exactly what you are going to say.
Simon RePeter is a hairy puppet who comes
to Children's Church to teach the kids the memory verse. He comes up, tells
the children his name and that they are to repeat after him. He then begins
to say parts of the memory verse, giving the children time to repeat it.
This has a lot of opportunity for fun and silliness with the kids repeating
everything Simon says. In the end though, the children have repeated the
memory verse several times, and consequently have learned it.
Edword is a puppet who likes to
try and help tell the Bible story, but never seems to get it right. He
always seems to appear at the time of the Bible story, and consequently
asks if he can help out. Though he thinks he knows all of the stories by
heart, he is always goofing them up, which gives you a good opportunity
to tell him, and the children, how it really goes. When Edword begins to
ramble on, have the children get his attention by saying "Edword, Edword,
Edword!!!" Then you straighten him out. This is especially good for those
stories that may be hard to understand. Edword will not understand them
either, so you have a fun way of explaining to him (though actually to
the children) what is meant in that particular story. This is also good
for those Bible stories that all of the children think they have heard
one hundred times, and don't need to hear again. Edword will goof them
up, or may ramble on at times while telling the story, making it funny,
but giving you a chance to tell it. You may even have the children help
WITNESSING - FISHERS OF MEN (1:5)
Clunky comes up dressed like the Apostle
Peter, carrying a fishing pole with a worm on the end of the hook (actually
a clothespin), singing the song "I will make you fishers of men." You come
up front and ask him what he is doing. Clunk tells you that he is "SIMON
CLUNKER, the great Fisher of Men," and that he is going out fishing for
men. You pick up the worm, and then explain to Clunk that you don't go
fishing for men using worms, fish like worms, but you won't catch any men
with them. You try to continue to explain what the term "Fishers of Men"
means, but Clunk interrupts you and tells you that he realizes his mistake,
and then leaves, telling you that he will be back in just one minute. While
Clunk is gone, we can hear him calling up the pizza parlor from behind
the stage, and ordering a pepperoni pizza. (During this time, switch the
worm for a cardboard pizza.) We hear the sound of someone knocking at the
door, Clunk answering it, and then asking the pizza deliverer what took
him so long. Clunk then pays him and comes back up with the pizza on the
end of his hook telling the kids that now he is going to be a real "Fisher
of Men." Again you try to explain to Clunk that you don't use pizza, because
for one reason, some people don't like pepperoni pizza (Clunk is amazed
that someone actually doesn't like pepperoni pizza), but again, before
you can explain fully, Clunk leaves to get something he is sure that everyone
will like. While he is gone, we hear him getting into his piggy bank. This
time he comes back up with a dollar bill on the end of his line, telling
you that he knows everyone loves money. This too is wrong, so you tell
Clunk that it is not an object, but a person, and again, Clunk leaves before
you fully explain. We hear Clunk looking for his camera, then we see a
flash. Clunk comes up the last time with a picture of himself, sure that
everyone loves him. Finally, while holding on to him so he can't leave,
you explain that you become a "Fisher of Men," by telling people about
WITNESSING - BEING AN EXAMPLE(2:10)
Clunky comes up wearing a fake nose and
glasses. You ask him what he is doing and he tells you that he is hiding
from this big bully in school. You ask who this big bully is, and Clunk
mumbles her name. This is done a couple of times until you can finally
understand that Clunk is talking about a girl - Big Birtha. Clunk begins
to tell of all the bad things that she does to him in school, like calling
him bad names and writing on the back of his head with a magic marker.
(Clunky is bald.) You explain to him that he needs to tell her about Jesus
so that she will become a Christian, and quit being so mean to him. Clunk
puts up a fight on that idea, but then finally gives in on the condition
that he gets a piece of bubble gum. (Clunk tries asking for 4 or 5 pieces,
but only give in to one.) Clunk decides to go, quoting "Marvel not, even
Big Birtha can be born again." Clunky comes back later in the service,
screaming for help and all out of breath because that Big Birta is following
him down the street. He tells you that he went to her door and told her
about Jesus and then walked away, but turned around to see her chasing
him. Clunk looks back, turns and runs out of the room. Seconds later, Big
Birtha comes in looking for that funny looking little blue guy (Clunk).
You ask her what she wants and she begins to explain how she was quietly
reading her favorite book, Weight Watchers, when the door bell started
to ring and ring and ring, because it got stuck. So she went to answer
it thinking that it may be someone important like the president or something,
but instead it was just Clunk. Then she tells you that she said to herself,
maybe he has something to give to her, like a present or money, but NO,
all he does is tell her "Jesus loves you, and I love you too Birtha." and
no one had ever told her that before, and that is why she is chasing him,
to ask him about Jesus. You can explain to her about Jesus and what he
did for her, and then lead her in a short prayer of salvation with all
of the kids. She gets all excited and leaves singing, telling you that
she is going home to tell her mom and dad about Jesus. Clunk comes back
up from hiding, wearing the fake nose again, and asks if she is gone yet.
He then apologizes for leaving everyone alone with her, and you can tell
him that Big Birtha got Born Again. Clunk doesn't believe at first, but
then does, and says that she is no longer Big Birtha, but ReBirtha, and
asks for the five pieces of gum that you promised him. You give him the
onr piece of gum, but tell him not to eat it in the Children's Church.
Clunk leaves and we can hear him opening the bubble gum behind the stage,
chewing it, and starting to blow a bubble (at this time, but a pink balloon
in the mouth of the puppet). Clunk comes back up with the balloon (bubble)
and you pop it with a pin hidden in your hand. You and Clunk fly backwards.
Clunk comes back up and asks for another piece of gum. (This same skit
can be done several different times using different puppets and events.)
Clunky comes up dressed like "LEWIS AND
CLUNK" (Lewis and Clark), the famous explorer, asking you if he has your
permission to go out and explore (play). You tell Clunk that he can go
out and play after church, but right now you want him to sit down and pay
attention to the service. Clunk tells you that he already knows all about
whatever you are teaching, and besides, his friends are waiting for him,
and it wouldn't be very "Christian-like" to make his friends wait. You
tell Clunk that Church comes first, then he can go out to play with his
friends, and besides, if his friends will get mad at him for going to church,
then they aren't very good friends, and he should find new ones. Clunk
leaves, quietly grumbling about how mean you are. A few minutes later,
we hear Clunk scream, and rush to see what happened. Clunk comes up with
cactus needles stuck into him yelling "Pull them out, pull them out!!!"
You start to pull them out, and then ask Clunk how this happened. Clunk
tells you that he obviously fell into the cactus. You ask Clunk how he
could fall into the cactus when the cactus is outside. Clunk asks if he
can have a minute to think about how to answer that one. Clunk finally
confesses that his friends were at the window egging him to come outside,
and so he tried to sneak out by climbing out the window, but slipped and
fell into the cactus. You ask Clunk if he learned his lesson, and he says
"Yes, next time I will sneak out the other window." You look at him, and
he says "Just kidding! Next time, I will wait until after church. By the
way, what is the lesson in church about today?" You tell him obedience.
READING YOUR BIBLE (1:2)
MEMORY VERSE: Faith comes by hearing and
hearing by the word of God. Rom. 10:17.
Clunky comes up with a set of headphones
on, plugged (taped) into his Bible. He begins to complain that his Bible
must be defective, because he can't hear a thing. You begin to talk to
him, but he says "What, I can't hear you." You get louder, but Clunk still
can't hear. Finally, while screaming, you pull off his headphones, and
Clunk says "Well, you don't have to yell!" You tell Clunky that you don't
listen to the Bible by plugging headphones into it. Then you make the statement
that the Bible is food for your soul, but before you can explain to him
what you mean, Clunk leaves. We hear the sound of Clunky eating behind
the stage, and when he comes back up, he has a Bible with bite marks in
it, telling you that it ain't too bad, but it needs a little bit of salt.
You can then explain to Clunk that the Bible must be read.
READING YOUR BIBLE - RENEWING YOUR MIND(2:9)
Clunky comes up with a towel wrapped around
him, and shampoo (use cotton balls and straight pins) on his head. He says
he is trying to WASH (renew) his mind. Explain to him, and to the kids,
that you wash (renew) your mind through reading your Bible. (You can have
Clunk playing with a rubber ducky, or squirt you to make it fun.)
HEARING GOD'S VOICE (1:12)
We don't see Clunky, but we can hear him
talking to himself behind the stage. You come up and ask the kids what
in the world Clunky is doing, then stop and listen. Clunk mumbles "Let's
see...the bush, check, matches, check, what am I forgetting? Oh yeah, I
have to take my shoes off." You come closer to the stage to take a look,
when he hits you in the face with one of his shoes. You stumble, but then
try to look again when he hits you with his other shoe. You tell the kids
that it should be safe to look now, and then get hit by one of his socks.
He then throws his other sock into the kids. We then hear Clunk trying
to light the bush on fire. (If your church's fire alarm will let you, go
ahead and light a small fire at this time. But check before you try it.)
You finally stop Clunk, and ask him to come up and talk to you. Clunk comes
up dressed like Moses, with a robe, and white beard (made of cotton), carrying
his bush. When asked what he is doing, Clunk explains that he heard Pastor
talking about having God talk to him, and Clunk also wants God to talk
to him, so he is dressed like Moses trying to light the bush on fire, because
he figured if it worked with Moses, then it should work for him. You tell
Clunk that he doesn't have to do all of that stuff, and then explain to
him the ways in which God can and does talk to us. (Through his Word, that
still small voice...)
Clunk comes up crying hysterically. As
you try to find out what is wrong, he blows his nose on your shirt, and
then tries to tell you, but all you hear is a bunch of gibberish, because
he is crying so badly. After several attempts of trying to find out what
is the matter, you call up one of the kids (you will have to talk to the
child beforehand to explain to them what you want done, and see if they
will do it) and they come up, tell Clunk that they love him, and then give
him a big hug. Clunk quits crying, and then begins to jump all over the
place, all excited and happy. When you finally quiet him down, you ask
him once again what was the matter. Clunk can't remember, because he is
just so happy that somebody loves him.
Clunky comes up wearing some real fancy
clothes and sunglasses, all excited, but cool. You ask what is the occasion,
and he tells you that he has just been nominated into like the coolest,
most popular club in the whole school. He begins to explain all the members
of the club, like Bobby, the superstar athlete; Johnny, the smartest kid
in the school; and Luke, who every girl in the school has a massive crush
on. You tell Clunk that you are happy for him, and then ask him if he could
see if that new kid, Barney, who lives down the street, could join also.
Clunk just snickers and says "Barney is too much of a nerd. He always wears
flood pants, his glasses have white tape on them, and rumor has it, he
even picks his nose. No way could Barney ever join this club." You tell
Clunk that you and the kids in church are going to be starting a club too.
Clunk is interested about joining that club also, but you tell him that
he can only join the club if he qualifies. Clunk asks what the qualifications
are, and you tell him that the first qualification is that you can't be
short. Then looking at Clunk, you begin to giggle, and say "Hey Clunk,
I never realized just how short you really are." Then begin to laugh out
loud. (More than likely, the kids will also laugh with you.) Clunk gets
mad and tells you to stop. You tell him you are sorry, and then tell him
that the next qualification is that you can't be blue. Again you begin
to laugh at him, and Clunk gets mad, and tells you and the children to
stop. You tell him that the final qualification is that you can't be bald,
then you pull off Clunk's hat and begin to laugh a lot. Again Clunk gets
mad, and tells you to stop. When you ask what is the matter, Clunk tells
you that you are all being mean, that he can't help the fact that he is
short, blue, and bald, because he was just born that way. You tell him
that the same is true with Barney. Clunk says that with Barney it's different,
but eventually realizes the point you are trying to make, and decides that
he will go see what he can do about getting Barney into the club, and that
if they won't let him join, he will quit and start his own club. You tell
him that you are proud of him, and Clunk asks if he could possibly be in
the church club. You put it up to a vote with the children, who will more
than likely let Clunk in.
EDIFYING ONE ANOTHER RETURN (1:10)
Someone comes up to lead praise and worship,
but get down on himself saying that heís not very good. We then hear the
sound of hoofs, Clunky's voice saying, "Whoa aluminum-foil" and the sound
of trash cans banging around. (We hear this every time Clunky comes up.)
Clunk comes up dressed as the LONE CLUNKER (Lone Ranger), and tells him
Philippians 4:13, encourages him, then turns and leaves. After Clunk leaves,
we can hear him in the background saying, "Hi ho Aluminum-foil, and away..."
Now encouraged by the Scriptures that the Lone Clunker just shared, he
begins the praise and worship. (For an added attraction, you can have another
puppet dressed up as an Indian named Tanto to help the Lone Clunker. The
Lone Clunker forgets what the verse is and turns to Tanto, who knows and
tells it. Then the Lone Clunker says, "Oh yeah..." and repeats the verse,
saying, "It's a good thing that I, the Lone Clunker am here to help" trying
to take all of the glory.)
Simon RePeter comes up to teach the memory
verse, but get down on himself, saying that heís not very well prepared.
We then hear the sound of hoofs, Clunky's voice saying, "Whoa aluminum-foil"
and the sound of trash cans banging around. Clunk comes up dressed as the
LONE CLUNKER, and tells him Philippians 4:13, encourages him, then turns
and leaves. After Clunk leaves, we can hear him in the background saying,
"Hi ho Aluminum-foil, and away..." Now encouraged by the Scriptures that
the Lone Clunker just shared, Simon begins to teach the memory verse.
Someone comes up to tell the Bible story,
but get down on herself, saying that sheís not sure of herself this morning.
We then hear the sound of hoofs, Clunky's voice saying, "Whoa aluminum-foil"
and the sound of trash cans banging around. Same as part 2
Goes with Joshua Skit
You comes up to preach the sermon, but
get down on yourself, saying that youíve been busy this week, and you donít
think you are ready. We then hear the sound of hoofs, Clunky's voice saying
Ö well, I think you get the point by now.
After the Lone Clunker leaves for the last
time, seconds later, Clunky comes up dressed normally. You call him the
LONE CLUNKER, and Clunk will ask what you are talking about. You tell him
that you know it was him, but Clunk denies it. You ask, "If it wasn't you,
then who was it?" and just then we hear a faint cry of, "Hi ho aluminum-foil
and away..." You both look back behind the stage, and Clunk says "I don't
know, but whoever it was, they left a silver tract." Clunky leaves, and
you begin the sermon.
Clunky comes up at the beginning of the
service to help, but ends up making a mistake, dropping and breaking something
expensive. (Buy an old already broken camera or something similar that
he can break.) Clunk gets all excited and begins to apologize. You can
get upset at him at first, but then realize that it was just a mistake
and forgive him. Clunk leaves very relieved. Later in the service, Clunk
comes up with another puppet and is calling him names, saying that he (Clunk)
will never forgive him as long as he lives for stepping on, and then popping
off his rubber ducky's head. The other puppet apologizes and tells Clunk
that he is sorry, and that he will buy him a new rubber ducky, but Clunk
tells him that he can't pay for the "emotional loss" and that he just won't
forgive him. The other puppet leaves with Clunk yelling things at him,
as you come up front to find out what is going on. Clunk tells what happened,
how that he told the other puppet to watch out for his ducky, but he later
steps on, Clunk claims on purpose. You ask Clunk if he has ever read the
story found in Matthew 18:23-25. Then after telling the story to Clunk,
you explain to him that he is acting like the bad servant. Clunk finally
understands, and then leaves to find the other puppet to apologize, and
to FORGIVE him.
Clunk comes up, and is mad at everyone,
and everything. He starts yelling at everyone, and really making a scene.
You ask him what in the world is the matter, and he tells you that he is
mad at Billy Bailey the bully. (Clunk yells at everyone because he won't
forgive and is consequently bitter.) This is a good time to explain to
Clunk, and to the kids, that when you won't forgive others, it not only
hurts them, but it hurts you as well. You become bitter about everything.
Clunk decides to forgive him, and begins to feel better immediately.
GOD WANTS TO USE LITTLE CHILDREN (1:4)
Clunk comes up crying and all upset. You
ask him what is the matter, and he says "I am short, bald, and eight years
old and still in kindergarten. God could never use anybody like me. And
besides all that, look carefully and see if you notice anything different
about me." (Clunk is blue.) You ask him if he has gained a little weight,
or some other dumb question. Clunk blurts out that he is BLUE. "Nobody
else in the world is blue. How could God ever use a short, bald, blue,
granted adorable, eight year old still in kindergarten?" You then remind
him of the time that he went for a walk down the street to the ice cream
parlor a couple of weeks ago, and how that about one fourth the way there,
he turned around and noticed about 15 people were following him down the
street. (Have Clunk tell the story.) He says he didn't think anything about
it at first, but then as he got about half way there, he turned around
again, and there were about 30 people following him down the street. Clunk
says that he begins to walk a little faster, and just around the corner
from the ice cream parlor, he turns around again, and there are about 45
people following him down the street. Clunk says he begins to run, and
as he gets to the ice cream parlor, he turns around, and there are now
about 75 people who have followed him to the ice cream parlor. Clunk says
that at first he thought that they were going to hurt him, but then found
out that they were following him because they had never seen such a cute,
adorable, and foxy...well anyway, they had never seen a blue person before.
Clunk didn't know what to do, but then began to tell them about Jesus,
and how much Jesus loves them. You ask Clunk what happened after that,
and Clunk tells you that he got to lead 23 of those people to ask Jesus
into their hearts, and become born again. You then explain to Clunk that
it was because he was short, bald, and BLUE that all those people followed
him down the street, and that he was able to lead 23 of them to Jesus.
Clunk becomes happy, and decides to take another trip to the ice cream
parlor right after church is out, and then asks you for a dollar. Clunk
leaves, and you can explain to the kids that God doesn't care how old,
or tall, or cute, you are, He just wants to use someone who is obedient
and will let Him.
REJOICE IN THE LORD (1:3)
Clunky comes in crying and all upset. You
ask him what is wrong, and he begins to describe all about the rotten day
he has had. First of all Clunk says he got up on the wrong side of the
bed. You ask what happened, and he says "Just that. I got up on the wrong
side of the bed." Clunk explains that he only has one side to his bed,
the other side is against the wall, and he got up on the wrong side and
banged his head against the wall. You ask if he prayed for it, and he tells
you yes and that it got better. He then tells how later as he was walking
down the hallway, he didn't notice the dump truck and stepped on it, going
for a ride right down the hallway, through the living room, down the stairs,
and banged his head right into the basement wall. You ask if he prayed
for it, and again he says he did, and that it got better. Clunk then tells
about how his "kitty dog..." You interrupt him and tell him that kitties
are cats, and puppies are dogs. Clunk says that he knows, and then goes
on with the story about how his "kitty dog..." Again you interrupt him.
(This goes on a couple of times.) Finally, Clunk explains to you that his
kitty's name is Dog...kitty Dog. He then explains how that his kitty wet
on his pants, and he didn't have time to change before coming to church.
You then explain to Clunk that when he has days like that, he just needs
to begin to Praise the Lord. Clunk is confused, and thinks you mean that
he should praise God for everything that happens You then tell him that
we need to praise God through all things. You then explain to Clunk that
if we let something get us down, then it will ruin everything else, but
if we begin to Praise God through all things, then we will keep our joy,
and not get all down about everything. Clunk asks what in the world he
could Praise God for on a day like that. You can list some things: Parents,
friends, how he got better after he prayed for his aches...and most importantly,
if for nothing else, he can Praise God for His Son Jesus. Clunk finally
begins to understand, and he begins to Praise the Lord.
(Some other things that you can have go
wrong: His gold fish bit him, his puppy cat ran away, his girl friend,
he ran out of MIRACLE WHIP - a sandwich just ain't a sandwich without MIRACLE
Clunky comes up dressed like "LEWIS and
CLUNK (Clark)." (Clunk is wearing buck skin clothes.) He asks if he can
have permission to go outside and explore. You ask why he is dressed up
like that, and he explains that he is the famous explorer "LEWIS and CLUNK."
You tell him that he can go out, but he is not to go by the creek. Clunk
leaves. He comes back later in the service and is sneezing because he fell
into the creek. As you are talking to Clunk, he begins to comment that
he is so glad that "God gave him this sickness." When you ask him what
he means, he tells you that someone told him that God makes people sick
to make them more humble and stuff, and that he is really glad that God
gave him this sickness. You ask Clunky to remember the last time that he
was sick. Then you ask him how much did he do for God. Clunk asks, "What
do you mean?" You ask him, for example, how much time did he spend reading
his Bible. Clunk says he didn't read his Bible at all, because he was sick.
You then ask him how much time he spent in prayer the last time he was
sick. Clunk tells you that he didn't spend any time in prayer, because
he was sick. You ask how many good deeds he did the last time he was sick.
Clunk, a little agitated, tells you that he didn't do any good deeds because
he was sick. You now ask him how many people he told about Jesus the last
time he was sick. Clunk, now beginning to get mad, tells you that he didn't
tell any people about Jesus, BECAUSE HE WAS SICK!!! You finally ask Clunk
"Now why would God give you a sickness, if you can't read your Bible, pray,
do good deeds, or tell other people about Jesus?" Clunk begins to understand.
You can explain to Clunk that he got sick because he disobeyed you playing
around the creek, and fell into the cold water. You can pray with Clunk,
and he says he is starting to feel better.
THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST (1:6)
Clunky comes in all dressed up to leave.
He says that he is going to skip church, and go to a party at some kid's
house. You find out that it is going to be a bad party, and tell Clunk
that he ought not go to that kind of party. (It could be having beer, or
playing bad music...) Clunk starts saying that he knows what you are going
to say, and that he has heard it all before, but he is going anyway. You
tell Clunk that maybe he is right. Clunk says that you know he is. You
say "Jesus may not come again real soon, and maybe all those things written
in the Book of Revelation really won't happen." Clunk asks "what things?"
You then begin to list some of the things written, like the plagues that
are to take place, but then say "maybe it won't happen." Then you mention
the Anti-Christ, and the mark of the beast, but then say "but maybe that
won't happen either." You continue with some more of what it says about
the tribulation, and the things that will happen, (you can throw in the
story in Matthew 25 about the wise and foolish virgins) and then say "but
maybe none of these things will happen. Go ahead Clunk, go on to that party."
Clunk says "But wait a minute, what if all of these things do happen? And
what if all these things are real? I don't want to be left behind, and
have all of those things happen to me!" You then ask Clunk if he thinks
he should go to this kind of party, and Clunk decides that maybe you are
right, and he decides to stay for the whole service. "Besides," says Clunk,
"I have a lot more fun with my Christian friends here at Church."
Before Clunky and Simon come up, you hear
a lot of sheep bahhing, and Clunky and Simon telling them to be quiet and
The teacher looks behind the stage and asks
Clunky and Simon if she could talk to them for just a minute. Clunky
and Simon come up dressed like shepherds, and the teacher asks them what
in the world they are doing with all of those sheep. (When Clunky
comes up, he acts like he stepped in some sheep yucky). Clunky bends
down and wipes the sheep yucky from his shoe.
|Clunky, "Come on guys, get out of the
cookies. I told you, you can have one after lunch."
|Simon, "Hey there little fella, don't
eat that paper sack."
|Clunky, "Ahh, my lunch. Come on
Simon, you gotta help me with these guys."
|Simon, "I am trying Clunky, but I am not
experienced at being a shepherd. Are you sure this is what the bible
says to do?"
|Clunky, "Positive, I even read it to you."
|Simon, "I know, but still."
Simon begins to explain.
The teacher tries to explain more, but Clunky
|Simon, "Well, Clunky was reading the Old
Testament, and he found the part that says people were supposed to sacrifice
a lamb every year in order for God to forgive them of their sins.
We have never sacrificed a lamb, so Clunky said that God can't forgive
us of all the bad things we have done, and we won't be able to go to heaven."
|The teachers asks, "Really?"
|Simon, "It's true. We haven't sacrificed
|The teacher, "I'm sorry Simon, I didn't
hear a thing you said after 'Clunky was reading.' Are you serious,
Clunky was actually reading?"
|Clunky comes up from wiping the sheep
yucky and says, "Hardy har har. Actually, I was listening to one
of those Bibles on CD, and it was talking about the part where people had
to sacrifice a lamb every year for God to forgive them."
|The teacher explains, "You are actually
right Clunky, in the Old Testament they did have to sacrifice lambs every
year for God to forgive them."
|Clunky, "I told you Simon."
|Simon, "Wow, Clunky was actually right.
And people say miracles don't exist."
The teacher again starts to explain and is
interrupted by Clunky running behind the stage.
|Clunky, "I know that the bible says we
are supposed to sacrifice a lame, but I just don't have the heart to kill
one of these cute little guys. What am I supposed to do?"
|The teacher tries to explain, only to
be interrupted again by Clunky, "Simon and me even went ..."
|The teacher now interrupts, "Simon and
|Clunky, "Simon and you did what?"
|The teacher, "No, you said Simon and you,
it's Simon and I."
|Clunky, "That's what I said, me and Simon
even went to get a butter knife to kill it, but we couldn't."
|Simon, "Yeah, when we looked into those
big black eyes, and that little wet black nose, we just couldn't do it."
Clunky and Simon come back up, and the teacher
starts to explain that Clunky was right, they did sacrifice lambs in the
Old Testament, but in the New Testament, Jesus was the lamb that was sacrificed."
|Clunky, "Hey, I told you guys to get out
of those cookies. Hey Simon, come get your lamb away from the cookies."
|Simon goes back to help, "Come here Clunky
|Clunky, "You name your lamb Clunky Junior?"
|Simon, "Yep, he is lovable, but he is
always getting into trouble."
|Clunky, "Good name."
The teacher explains to Clunky, and to the
kids, that Jesus died in the place of the Passover Lamb, once and for all
to take away our sins, and that we don't need to sacrifice lambs anymore,
because we believe in Jesus who was our sacrifice.
|Clunky gets mad, "Are you calling Jesus
a lamb? Shame of you, Jesus is not an animal."
Clunky runs off to get the sheep. When
Clunky leaves, he acts like he slips on the sheep yucky.
|Simon, "Now let me get this straight,
in the Old Testament, they sacrificed lambs so that God would forgive them,
but when Jesus died on the cross, he was our sacrificial lamb so that God
would forgive us, and now we don't have to sacrifice lambs anymore?"
|The teacher, "That's exactly right Simon."
|Simon, "I knew it was too good to be true."
|Teacher and Clunky, "What was too good
to be true?"
|Simon, "Clunky being right."
|Clunky, "Hardy har har. Well, I
was partly right ... wasn't I?"
|The teacher, "I will have to admit that
you were, and I am proud of you for reading your bible."
|Clunky, "Well thanks... oh oh, gotta go."
Simon leaves and slips on the sheep yucky
|Simon, "I better go too. Clunky
looks like he is getting into some more trouble again, and so is Clunky
(For added fun, have one of the teachers
also act like they slipped on the sheep yucky later in the service.)
Clunky comes up wearing a diaper and baby
bonnet, holding a rattle or bottle, saying "Goo goo, gaa gaa, maa maa,
daa daa, poo poo." You come up and ask Clunk what he is doing, and he answers
"Goo goo, gaa gaa, maa maa, daa daa, poo poo." Every question you ask him,
he gives you the same answer. You finally say "Well, it is too bad you
can't talk, because Sally (one of the of the girls in Children's Church
that Clunk has a crush on), asked me to ask you if she could come up and
give you a big kiss on the cheek, but being that you can't talk, well..."
Clunk starts jumping up and down yelling "Yahoo, yippee, Sally wants to
give me a big smooch on the cheek!" And you say, "Ah ha, I knew you could
talk." You then ask Clunk what he is doing dressed up like a baby. Clunk
explains to you that he was reading in his Bible the other day, and he
ran across the verse that says "Do not marvel, you must be born again"
and he realized that he has never been born again, so that is why he is
dressed up like a baby, so that he can be born again. You explain to Clunk
what being born again means, and Clunk begins to feel embarrassed about
how he is dressed, especially in front of Sally. You tell him that even
Nicodemus, a very smart man, didn't understand what it meant at first,
until Jesus explained it to him. Before Clunk leaves to change, you sniff,
and ask him "what is that smell?" and he begins to act even more embarrassed.
BEING UNEQUALLY YOKED
Clunky comes up dressed as "Clunk the Hunk"
and saying bad words like "poopy" and "boogger" and making fun of you and
all of the kids. You find out that he is doing this because he is hanging
around all the bad kids at school, and consequently becoming just like
them. Clunk says that the "New" Clunk is cool. You can ask the kids if
they like the "New" Clunk. You tell Clunk that he shouldn't be unequally
yoked with those kids. Clunk asks what that means, and you explain to him
that he should be nice to those bad kids, but not to make them his best
friends and hang around them all of the time, but to make other Christian
kids his best friends. You tell him that kids that are acting bad like
that are acting like the devil, then ask him if that's what he wants, to
act like the devil, or to act like Jesus. Clunk begins to understand, and
apologizes to you and to the kids about all the bad things he said.
Before Clunky comes up, we hear in the
background "It's a bird, it's a plane, it's SUPER CLUNK." Clunk then comes
up dressed as Super Clunk, wearing a red cape and mask. Clunk says he has
been watching TV and saw a show with his most favorite super-hero, "Super
Guy" and he decided that he is going to be just like him. Clunk leaves
saying, "Up, up, and away..." (When Clunk leaves, he acts like he is flying
out.) Clunk comes up later in the service, and says to the kids quietly,
"I was sitting around dressed up as mild mannered newspaper reporter, 'Clunk
Clark', when my super-hero ears heard a noise outside. I, Super Clunk,
deducted that it must be a burglar trying to steal all of the church's
money." (The whole time Clunk is talking, he is looking around.) "Everyone
be very quiet while I, Super Clunk, look for and find the burglar, saving
the day." He looks around for a while, and then hears the sound of a kitty
cat. Clunk looks down and says, "Kitty, what are you doing out here?" He
then looks at the kids and says "Oh well, I, Super Clunk, must be going
to save the world elsewhere. Super Clunk, up, up, and away..." Clunk can't
budge, so he looks back and asks kitty to please get off his cape. He then
tries again. Clunk leaves. Once again, we hear in the background "Faster
than a speeding bullet, more stronger than a Choo Choo Train, able to leap
tall lunch pails in a single bound. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super
Clunk." Clunk comes up and tells the kids, "I, Super Clunk, was walking
around, when I went into the kitchen and saw that the stove was on, letting
gas into the room, which then could have been ignited, blowing up the kitchen,
the church, and maybe even the whole world. But I, Super Clunk, was there
to turn off the stove, and save the day." While Clunk is standing there
talking to the kids, someone comes to the back of the class, telling the
kids that they were baking cookies for everyone, but someone turned off
the oven, and ruined the cookies. Clunk leaves quietly. Finally Clunk comes
up and isn't wearing all of his super-hero outfit, and is all bummed out.
You ask him what is the matter, and he tells you that he is a failure at
being a super-hero. You tell Clunk that he hasn't failed, but has in many
ways acted like the greatest super-hero of them all. Clunk is confused,
and you explain that Jesus is the greatest of all super-heros, and that
when Clunk tells someone about Jesus, and they ask Jesus into their hearts,
he is doing the greatest super-hero feat of them all. Clunk understands,
and decides that he is really going to do some super-hero work, and go
tell Billy Baily the bully about Jesus. Clunk leaves.
Clunky comes up and asks you how to spell
Jehovah. You tell him, and he leaves. We then hear Clunk behind the stage,
flipping thru the pages of a telephone book, mumbling names that begin
with "J" (like Johnson, Jackson....) trying to find Jehovah. Clunk comes
back up, saying "Jehovah is not in there. How do you spell Elohim?" You
tell him, he leaves, and again we hear him flipping through the telephone
book, mumbling names that begin with "E". (This goes on for as many names
of God as you wish.) Finally, Clunk comes up and asks you if you know any
other names for God. You ask him why, and he tells you that he is trying
to find God's telephone number in the telephone book, so that he can call
Him up. You tell him that he won't find any of God's names in the telephone
book, because His name is not in there. Clunk asks "If God has got an unlisted
number, then how in the world can I call Him up and thank Him for all of
the nice things He has done for me?" You tell Clunk that is what prayer
is for. When we pray, we are talking to God, so if we want to tell God
thank you, we just tell him, and He always hears us. Clunk prays a short
prayer, thanking God, and then asks you if he did it right, and if God
heard him. You tell him yes, and Clunk leaves with this one liner: "You
can't call Pa God, on Ma Bell."